Humanity living it’s best life?

They say life is great when you make the best of it. I really do not know if there is any truth to that. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions of course, but I just continue to lack this outlook on life.

I eagerly crave this happiness I still see once in a while–the random act of kindness, brings me hope that there is still good in this world.

Oh, how quickly that hope fades into the darkness with my thoughts. To see and hear whats going on in this world we live on. Why must we destroy everything we come in contact with? Why must we kill each other? Why must we convey one of us is better than the other? We all are human beings trying to make it through every struggle thrown at us.

I feel it’s time to step out of that closed mind that’s confided in society’s terms of living. Open your ears to the wind rustling the leaves on the trees–gaze upon the beautiful night skies–the stars are so beautiful. Gasp in the sound of nature. You would be in aw if you would just listen.

Sometimes I feel like we do not deserve this planet at all. We take so much for granted and when things hit the fan we stand dumbfounded as if we didn’t see this coming. We are over privileged beings–no race involvement. Human existence in general are just greedy, mean, hateful, and destroyers of everything that should be left alone.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe we do have some what of a chance at survival. It just seems we tend to fail at raising the future of our generations. These innocent beings brought to this world are hope for humanity. They bring happiness and joy because they have not been poisoned by society as of yet. After all, everything starts with you.

To end this post–a quote by Pablo Picasso; The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.

 Enjoy the rest of your day lovely’s! 💚💚

Empty/lonely

Feeling lonely with a room filled with people who love you. Feeling empty with the biggest heart that loves unconditionally.

There’s no winning. We as people are so needy and greedy. We want what we can’t have and destroy what we got.

If only …

If only …… Happiness was less important.

If only the want to need wasn’t an urge.

If only we could silence our emotions…

none of this would matter anymore.

Afire Of love

Afire of love, is the song that reminds me of him. I miss him so much. 3 years with out him and it hurts so bad.. 3/16/16 . I wish you were here .

Sinister Being

Have you ever seen something so sinister?

                  The way he breaks every little piece of her smile away. The way he blames her for everything and never listens to what she has to say .

The way he makes her hate herself because nothing is ever done the correct way.

Sinister, eerie, and dark conformed into the handsomest face.

The devil in sheep’s clothing, I must say.

But she loves him oh so dearly and effortlessly. Without one regret, Isn’t that strange? 

She thinks she can save him, which is why she stays. Not realizing it only works if he wants to be saved.

He tears her apart in his slanderous rage. Not giving a damn if tears fall down her face. Misery loves company in the worst ways.

A sinister being without a nice thing to say. There’s no happy ending behind this devilish gate.

*side note: I plan to start being more active! Stay positive, live life to the fullest, and love no matter the difference! 💚💚💚

Admitting defeat

You approach me with all you’re hate and negativity, because I just sit here and be who I’m meant to be. Why does the color of my skin offend you? Why does my weight affect you? Why must you advise me to pick cotton, then call me a spic because my response is “ eso no puedo hacer “ . I did nothing to you but you go out your way to make me feel like I’m better off dead . You continue to make me feel like shit. as I try to stay positive. I think to Myself “ why… why am i letting this troll ruin my happiness” why is he getting the best of me. I’m so fucking weak as my tears fall down my cheeks. I hate living in a world where there’s no winning, only defeat. What if I was at my peak?? Went and killed myself because the words you speak. Probably would have got away with it, because you know, bullying is not a thing, or should I say, a crime. Racism is alive, people just need to open their eyes. I’m just so annoyed and tired, hate living this supposedly happy and free life . I just want to be free and away from all these negative beings.

Am I Ever Enough

He will never be interested, No matter what you wear or what you choose to do to your hair, he won’t care. He won’t even notice the difference. The time and effort you put into yourself, just to see his smile glisten. All these things you can’t believe he’s missing. Thought you was his number one, as his heart beats and you laid there to listen. But his heart beats so much different. You sit back overthinking about what could be making him so distant. You can’t lay a finger on it, but notice his smile glisten as he stares down at his phone thinking You wasn’t paying attention. You’re still in shock, maybe it’s your mind playing games, as you desperately wait til he’s no longer awake. You grab a hold of his phone and your heart breaks as you scroll through all these different messages of “ I love you” “ want to see you, oh I can’t wait”. You start to blame yourself because this chick is ten times prettier than you and not overweight. You start to self reflect as everything you thought was pretty about yourself is now things that you hate, But you stayed, regardless of everything crashing down in front of your face. Trying to patch things up even though you know you’ll never be enough and soon you’ll be replaced.

– QuinnHorizon

Just something I wrote while laying down in bed thinking. My mind likes to wander at night and sometimes I write poems. I have many more to come 💚💚💚💚

I Think I Can!

Staying positive is very complicated for me. I try and try, but sometimes things just get to me and brings me down. 

Yes, some people blame me for my own sadness and depression because they feel that if they can handle their emotions everyone else can too. 

Well I am sorry, it doesn’t work that way. I can be all happy at one moment and then less than a second later I blank out or something triggers me and I hit rock bottom. I often wonder if I suffer from anxiety as well.

Moving on, we are now in 2017 and I am not going to be just sitting back this time around. I am going to be 25 years old and honestly I need to gets my SHIZZZ together!!! 

I am all about the positive vibes and working hard on staying positive. I am planning on keeeping myself busy and making sure my mind doesn’t wander off… 

I’m going to start doing things I normally wouldn’t do so I can break out of the shy, all to myself shell i’ve been in all my life. 

I know it’s easier said than done but the more I say it the more I feel it would be happen. 

It’s time to better myself, not only physically but also mentally and I honestly think everyone should as well. 

Don’t hold grudges, they’ll just make you angry all your life and hold you back. 

Like Edmond Mbiaka once said “For how long will you continue to deal with the pain that comes with the grudges in your heart ?” 

I understand that the pain may never go away but to stay stuck on it and let it hold you back from happiness, I say those grudges aren’t worth it! You’ll miss out on alot in life and I know this as a fact and experience. 

Ergo, My lovely darlings Please Stay Positive And Enjoy life while you can ! Love you all so dearly !

” Talk It Out “

Living with family can really complicate things. There is constant bickering and no one is satisfied with anything. You try your best to make sure everything is good and comfortable for everyone but no one is ever comfortable. Instead of talking about any problems or any issues going on, they go behind your back and talk with others about it. 

My thing is, why can’t we ” Talk it Out” ? The issues are not with any other person/persons but the ones living in the household. We are family and it should not be that hard to talk about the issues in the household.

In no way am I excluding that I am not doing anything that may bother anyone. I know what I do and  what I am not doing. I get what may upset anyone and they have every right to be upset if I am not doing what I am suppose to do. My issue is when I am doing what I’m suppose to do why am I receiving backlash for it. My responsibility is the kitchen before I head to bed, but if you take it upon yourself to do it before I do, that’s just making me look like I am not doing my responsibilities, and of course that gets told to the head of the household.

Situations like this makes me feel like I just want to stay away from everyone. Especially when things involve the children. There is no respect what so ever. I get undermined in front of them so they just take it as if they need not to listen to me.

I go by the rules of their Mother and Father, here and there they would get away with little things but when they start to get reckless that’s a different story. When you have two adults taking care of them but these adults have different aspects its hard to maintain a solid ground when one lets them get away with almost everything, and one sticks to the rules.  

I know I may receive backlash for this post, but right now i’m just tired, tired of not being heard and understood. Tired of the arguing when things are in plain sight, i’m just seriously tired. People expect me to hold my tongue but it’s so hard to do so when things get thrown in your face as ammo. It’s just too much!  Staying positive is the hardest thing to do in my opinion, but I pull myself back together as I force myself to believe everything is okay. 

That being said, I am basically done saying anything anymore and that’s on a POSITIVE level. 

Peace, Love, Respect, and stay Positive My loves! ❤

A night in my head

Today is one of those days, one of those days that I just block out the world and feel so down with my mind running wild. At times I can control it but sometime I just can’t. 

I find myself spaced out just talking to myself in my head. All these questions circling and circling  all around me wanting answers. Sometimes answers are not even relevant and things get worse. 

I don’t know why I am this way but it kills me inside. 

Life literally scares me, not knowing the unknown scares me, and the way I see myself scares me. 

I sometimes think that we live life for nothing.  Whether we accomplish our dreams or not, in the end it gets taken away from us.  

I feel being happy is just a waste of time when the people you love the most just tear you down and hurt you. 

It’s just so damn complicated in my head. Sometimes I just want it to end, just stop with the overthinking and everything but it never ends. 

People thing I’m crazy at times and think I  need help because the way I am. Sometimes I feel the same way. Maybe I do need help or something. Maybe there is something wrong with me .. Who knows…..